


unmotivated

by gloomyskies



Category: Kpop - Fandom, VIXX
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Fanfiction, Gay, M/M, My First Fanfic, VIXXfics, getting drunk, sfw, some alchohol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-08-29 16:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloomyskies/pseuds/gloomyskies
Summary: an au where kim wonshik, a very sucessful idol and producer, loses his passion for what he does, but his bleak outlook on life begins to change when lee jaehwan, an up and coming idol, walks in to his recording studio seeking for help.





	1. unimaginable

**Author's Note:**

> hi lovelies!
> 
> this is the first fanfic i'm posting on ao3, i've posted some on wattpad before but wbk wattpad is kind of trash so here i am. i hope you enjoy reading 'unmotivated', becasue i really have a fun time writing it. i will be continuing to work hard on writing the following chapters. i can't promise super consistent updates due to school and also because i'm really picky with what i wrtie, but i'll try to update whenever i can. i'd really appreciate it if you've left a comment saying you liked it or anything like that.  
> thanks for reading!
> 
> ☁ gloom

he could always be found in the same spot, sitting in the same park, on the same black metal bench. whether the grass was green, a dying yellow, or covered in snow. even if it was raining he'd make sure to be there with an umbrella in hand staring at nothing in particular. he took time out of his busy schedule to sit there whenever he could. it was his little retreat from everything in his life. everything he didn’t want to deal with and everything he wanted to deal with. it was his isolation from thoughts, feelings, and others. even with the footsteps of people walking by and the wind rustling brittle tree leaves, he was able to push everything away and just focus on nothing. there was something about being able to keep his mind clear while various things happened around him that he took solace in. the usually empty muddled feeling that typically rests in his heart disappeared, drowned out by the dying greens of the trees and the pale greys of the buildings around him. eventually the colors would blur and seem to swirl together if he got too lost in his thought, or lack thereof, but he didn't mind. he would say sitting there with nothing on his mind was the only thing he could do well. 

but it was hard to relish in not having anything on his mind when his best friend was relentlessly tapping on his shoulder, disturbing the only sense of peace he ever seemed to get these days. he just wanted to be left alone. however, sanghyuk didn't want to leave him alone. sanghyuk thought it was dumb that he would spend hours on end sitting on a rigid metal bench. he didn't feel like explaining why he did it, though; felt like it would lose its special purpose if he told someone. unless the other person understood, but he knew sanghyuk wouldn't. sanghyuk's too.. he didn't know how to put it, not too hyper, not too happy, too something else. too ignorant maybe? that seemed to be the word closest to what he was thinking of. that's how sanghyuk's always been. he's used to it by now. begrudgingly sighing he turned around and locked eyes with his tiresome best friend. he was wearing those green contacts again. it was a shame really, sanghyuk couldn't see the beauty of his own brown eyes. yeah, they weren't anything special, but that didn’t mean they weren’t pretty. that's something sanghyuk has always struggled with, not being special. in some way, sanghyuk had to be different than everyone else around him; he couldn't let people mistake him for someone else. he had to be his own person. 

"are you getting lost in my beautiful eyes again, shikkie?" he tsked as he heard what sanghyuk said.

"they'd be beautiful-er if you didn't have those contacts in," wonshik retorted

"beautiful-er isn't a word," sanghyuk quickly replied.

"you sound like a child."

"you always say that."

"because it's true."

"that's debatable."

"why are you here anyways?"

"one of your producer friends texted me, they were wondering where you are, and i volunteered to go look for you."

"shit, what time is it?" 

"1:05."

"fuck, i lost track of time," his eyes widened at the realization and he began lifting himself off the bench, ”sorry, sanghyuk, i gotta go"

"i figured. good luck, shikkie!" sanghyuk responded.

"thanks," he called over his shoulder as he ran on the grey pavement towards the building he had been in only an hour ago. this was his third time being late from his lunch break this week. he really had to get his shit together, and he knew that, but for some reason he just didn't want to, or maybe it was less of 'wanting to' and more of 'not caring enough to.' but whatever it was, it wasn't what he should be focusing on right now. he had a new client waiting for him in his office. they were supposed to work on making a new song together for his client's solo debut in a couple of months, and if he didn't get there soon it would damage his reputation. with that in mind, he listened to the sound of his Nike Air Jordans slapping against the pavement while he ran. he stumbled as he felt something wet go in his left eye. he didn't even need to look up to see what it was when he felt the same sensation on his left arm, then his neck, then his shoulder. he picked up his pace and heard the new sound of his shoes splashing in the water collecting on the ground as he sprinted. his $150 shoes were going to be ruined. when he finally got to his studio it was 1:28 pm. his shoulders slumped when he realized he was almost 30 minutes late. but worse than that, he was about to enter the meeting a sweaty, out of breath, and drenched mess. he couldn't be in a more miserable situation. 

resting his wet palm on the cool door handle, he took a deep breath before swinging the door open with a smile plastered on his face.

"sorry im late! i got caught up in the rain... even though you can probably already see that," he let out a small laugh until he looked up at the man in front of him. he knew idols were supposed to be attractive, but he was not expecting this. he had a sharp chiseled jaw with a bigger than average nose that complimented his equally large lips. simple black hair rested atop his head, not styled in any particular way; it kind of looked like he had just woken up. but his bright sparkling eyes made him seem the opposite of tired. he wore an oversized dark red hoodie with some plain old basketball shorts that you could tell he's kept far after they should've been thrown away. everything about the way he presented himself made him look like the opposite of a luxurious idol, but there was something about him that made him the most beautiful man wonshik had ever seen. he was mesmerized, lost in every feature of his new client that he could drink in. he only realized he was staring when he heard the other man's voice. 

"h-hi?" the man in front of him tilted his head to them, side wondering what wonshik was doing, and that's when wonshik registered the situation he was in. the most gorgeous man he had ever seen was sitting in front of him, looking like that, while he looked like... that. 

"s-sorry!" wonshik quickly choked out, as a tight sensation began to envelope his chest, "jaehwan, right?"

"mhm!" jaehwan energetically nodded his head. wonshik took a seat in his plush black swivel chair and let out a deep breath, getting rid of the tight feeling for just a moment before continuing the conversation. the feeling of his wet hair sticking to his forehead and his clothes unpleasantly clinging to his drenched skin made it hard for him to seem composed. wonshik felt like a disaster. he tried to tell himself to keep his cool, tried to tell himself that he's just another client, tried to tell himself that it's no big deal.

"so, uh, you want me to help produce a song for your album?"

"yup."

"cool, cool. what kind of song do you wanna make?" jaehwans eyes darted back in forth, in search of a suitable answer.

"uh well i don't really know how to explain it," his hand found it's way to the back of his neck as he spoke,"but i already wrote some lyrics, and i don't know if they're good, but they kinda show the feel that im going for,"

"can i see them?"

"yeah! let me just pull them up on my phone." thank god. jaehwan didn't seem to be phased by wonshik showing up late in wet clothes. he was just acting like everything was normal, so wonshik did, too. he took another deep breath and acted like he wasn't completely caught off guard by the way the purple light in the room complimented jaehwans excited pitch black eyes. It didn’t help that wonshik's favorite color is purple either, but he just had to keep up his cool image (which is what he's supposed to be known for). 

jaehwan placed the phone on the desk, facing towards wonshik. the bright yellowish light emitted from the notes app showcasing jaehwans lyrics had a stark contrast with the rest of the muddled purple room. wonshik’s eyes skimmed over the lyrics as he picked up the relatively small device. he heard jaehwans foot quickly tapping against the hardwood floors of his studio as he began to properly look over the little text. to wonshik's surprise the lyrics weren't that bad, especially for an about-to-be-rookie. they were actually pretty good. 

"this is... good. i can work with this" wonshik said after reading over them for the third time.

"r-really? i mean, uh, thank you!" the tapping of jaehwan's foot ceased, and wonshik smiled at jaehwan's reaction. he reminded wonshik of himself when he first started his career. 

"yeah it's good, especially since you're about to debut for the first time. you should be proud of yourself."

"thank you so much!" jaehwan was smiling ear to ear.

"yeah, no problem, man. so you wanna start working on the beat with me?"

"yeah!" he was excited, more excited than anyone wonshik's ever worked with before. it was weird to him. jaehwan's older than him but still manages to have so much enthusiasm. he found himself a little jealous of jaehwan’s optimism but pushed that thought to the back of his mind as he focused on the task at hand.

they worked together to try and find a sound they both thought fit the lyrics jaehwan had provided. they got along better than wonshik expected (especially for this being their first time meeting). throughout the process, they shared personal stories, laughter, and ideas, almost forgetting about the task at hand. nearing the end of the two hours wonshik had allotted for jaehwan, they started to find something they really liked. they planned to work on it some more next week, but this time wonshik made sure to give himself more time with jaehwan. he liked working with him. it wasn't as draining as it usually was and wonshik wasn't quite sure why. he didn't think it was just because of jaehwan's personality, (he gave off the kind of energetic vibe you'd get from a dog waiting for their owner to feed them) he thought there was something more to it, but he couldn't place his finger on it. whatever it was, it was refreshing, and made wonshik a little more content to be working for the rest of the day. tonight was his late night, well, sanghyuk says all of his work days are late nights, but this is his designated late night. after 7:00pm, he stopped meeting with clients and started working on his own music. unlike all the other nights he would spend in the studio trying to finish someone's song before a deadline caught up with him, it was his time to work with no ones music but his. 

tonight he decided to start working on a new song. he wanted it to have a sort of mellow feeling but eventually get more upbeat towards the end. with that in mind, he started playing around with different beats and instruments until he found one that gave off the mood he wanted. from there, he layered in more sounds and by 1:00 am he had a good basis for what the song was gonna be like, along with a few ideas for lyrics he jotted down when they came to mind. it wasn't close enough to being done or good at all by his standards, but it was fine for now. 

eventually he stopped working to go use the bathroom and that was when the fatigue started to resonate with him. he walked out of the studio he'd been in for hours, the sudden movement forced him to remember that he forgot to change out of his now dry clothes that still managed to cling to his skin uncomfortably. he also forgot to eat dinner, but that was fine; he figured he'd make something when he got home. as he walked, he passed by a window with a view encompassing the parking lot, the trees, and his car (the only car left). he should probably go home soon, but he wouldn't let himself; he had more work to do. he had stopped moving and was just staring at the window, but he didn't seem to notice. he was acting like when he would sit on the bench. his mind going clear and just watching the street lights flicker across the dirty windshield of his car. after about 10 minutes of just watching the seemingly static world, wonshik snapped out of his trance and finally moved to go use the restroom. he splashed some water on his face in hopes of waking himself up, and checked his phone. hakyeon, one of his and sanghyuk’s close friends, had texted him 6 hours ago asking how the meeting with the new client went. hyuk probably told him that wonshik was late. he quickly tapped out a reply knowing he'll probably get scolded for staying up late again, but he didn't mind. it was hakyeon's way of showing that he cares. stowing his phone back in his pocket, he took care of his business and left the tile filled room to go back to work. 

when he finally got home it was around 3:30 am. luckily, he lived alone so he didn’t disturb anyone when he came home so late (maybe except his neighbors, but he doubted that). throwing his keys somewhere on his living room couch, he stumbled into the modern, neutral toned kitchen to make himself something that resembled dinner. it was his signature cereal, pepperoni, and milk dinner or as wonshik calls it, pepperealk (it tastes better than you’d expect it to). it had all the necessities of a normal meal, wheat, dairy, and protein. the only thing missing was vegetables, but he usually had those earlier in the day. and today was just like every other day wonshik dragged through, with him sloppily making a meal and stuffing it into his mouth around 3:00 A-M. eating so late at night had become a habit, since he always forgot to eat an actual dinner unless someone invited him out to eat. once he finished dinner, he ended his day with tossing the clear bowl he ate out of in the sink before washing his face and heading to bed.


	2. unseen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey lovelies!
> 
> i finally got around to finishing the second chapter! i hope you guys like it, and i'll be sure to work on chapter three as soon as i can. have a good day!
> 
> ☁ gloom

bright light streamed through the slightly opened blinds onto wonshik’s grey comforter. the blaring noise of his alarm filled the room causing wonshik to stir. he groggily lifted his arm, trying to find his phone in the midst of his messy nightstand. his fingers traced over a pill bottle, a pencil, and his notebook before finally landing on his phone. he quickly turned the alarm off and pulled his arm back under the covers, flipping onto his back readying himself for another day at work, until he realized that he actually didn’t have work today. he barely got any sleep last night, partly due to staying late at the studio, and also because of a weird dream he woke up from around 5:00 A-M. he only remembered bits and pieces of it, but there was one part he vividly remembered; it wasn’t like a normal scene in a dream where things were moving, it was just an image of an angel standing in a lengthy white robe that the average person would probably call a toga. but to wonshik it didn’t seem like a toga. It seemed like some other piece of clothing that he couldn’t wrap his head around because the fabric wouldn’t stop going. wonshik couldn’t come up with a better word to describe the long white material. It flowed down, past the pedestal the angel was standing on top of until it was out of wonshik’s line of sight. everything surrounding the angel was a stark, bright white, something wonshik wasn’t used to because of the usual midtones he surrounds himself with in his apartment, and the cool purple at his studio. the one thing in the scene that wasn’t white was the angels tan skin and it’s dark purple wings. it was like the color of the dark corners in his studio. he couldn’t shake the image from his head. either way he had to get on with his day, and start getting ready. he tossed the covers aside, and placed his bare feet on the cold, hardwood floors. sitting on the edge of his bed, he could see his scattered clothes across the floor of the room, and all the other things contributing to his disaster of a room. he reached his hand towards his phone on his nightstand again, lazily thumbing through his notifications to see if anything he actually cared about was there. to his surprise, there was. jaehwan had sent him a text. wonshik didn’t even remember giving him his number, but he assumed that if he didn’t his manager probably did. sanghyuk also sent him a message, but he’d look at it later. 

the message jaehwan sent was… odd. he typed in an uniquely cute way, especially just for thanking wonshik (someone jaehwan barely even knew) for working with him. it was weird, but wonshik figured it was probably something jaehwan was known for doing. he did have a natural adorable vibe in their meeting, so it made sense to the shirtless man. he didn’t mind the odd typing style, it just caught him by surprise. he was sure if he texted jaehwan enough he’d eventually get used to it. wonshik turned off his phone, not realizing that he forgot to text jaehwan back, and started to prepare himself for his day. it should be an easy day; it was the one day off he allowed himself a week. he was supposed to have two days off, but he typically spent the other day secretly in the studio working on his music, and coming up with ideas for his clients. his mind continued to wander to various other subjects while he brushed his teeth, straightened out his hair to the best of his ability, and made himself some breakfast. he decided on a classic bowl of cereal. he scrolled through his twitter feed, looking at the kind messages from his fans as he ate the milky honey nut cheerios. when he had finished eating, he threw his bowl in the sink, telling himself he would wash it later. and right as he did that, his phone started buzzing profusely; a muffled version of a justin bieber song was coming from his pocket. He fished for his phone resting in his black adidas joggers and pressed the bright green accept call button before holding the phone next to his ear. 

“hi?” his raspy voice let out.

“morning wonshik! you didn’t respond to my text, as usual, so i thought i’d call you.” sanghyuk’s voice was way too cheery for how early in the morning it was.

“oh, my bad. what’d you text me about?” 

“i was wondering if the oh-so-amazing kim wonshik would like to join me and hongbin and go bowling tonight.” the younger of the two asked. wonshik felt like he should be doing something productive today, but he also missed his friends a lot. after some contemplating, he decided to allow himself a little break to spend time with sanghyuk and hongbin.

“uh sure,” 

“perfect, i’ll text you where we’re going and stuff.”

“cool, see you there.”

“mhm! bye shikkie”

“bye.” now wonshik would have to put actual clothes on since he was going to go out with his friends tonight. he wasn’t thrilled about having to change his outfit, but he was happy to be doing something with his friends. they hadn’t all properly hung out with each other in a while, and he missed them. he was too busy with his perfecting his music to get a chance to joke around with them anymore, but that’s how it’s always been with wonshik; he was too caught up in his career to have time for the people he cared about. a buzz from his phone brought him out of his thoughts, and of course, it was sanghyuk texting him and hongbin the plans for tonight. they would meet at a place wonshik had never heard of before called ‘bowl and barrel’ around 6:30 pm. sanghyuk kept bragging about how good their pretzels were in their little group chat, which probably meant they would be eating there.

when the clock struck six o’ clock, wonshik hopped into his dark red car, and maneuvered his way through traffic to get to the bowling place. it looked nice from the outside, there were lots of windows so you could see inside the quaint place. it didn’t seem too small or too big, and it had kind of a rustic feel. sanghyuk had picked a nice place, which was surprising considering he’d usually choose a fast food place. it was a nice change of pace. when he entered the clear glass doors he was met with dim lighting and his friend sanghyuk talking to an employee, probably getting their lane ready for them. wonshik walked over to his tall friend talking to an almost equally tall employee. the man in front of sanghyuk was a little bit shorter, but not by much, and had glowing tan skin with neat black hair covering his forehead in a gentle sweep. as wonshik got closer, he picked up bits and pieces of their conversation, but those few snippets were all wonshik needed to know that sanghyuk and the man who’s name read ‘hakyeon’ on his nametag were definitely flirting with each other. 

“hey, sanghyuk,”

“oh! wonshik, you’re here, nice. this is hakyeon, we were just talking about the food they have here and stuff like that,”

“nice to meet you,” wonshik smiled at hakyeon, knowing that they were definitely not talking about food, “is hongbin here yet?”

“no, but he said he’ll be here in like 15 minutes.”

“oh, cool,” wonshik replied, “hongbin isn’t usually late, weird.” 

“i know, right? well, we should probably go sit down now,” Sanghyuk redirected his attention towards hakyeon, “but, i will be expecting a text from you.” As soon as wonshik heard the word ‘text’ he realized that he had completely forgot to respond to jaehwan’s text. 

“i’ll be sure to send you one,” hakyeon replied, flashing a grin at the two. wonshik ignored hakyeons response and muttered an inaudible curse under his breath as he reached for his phone, once again, to reread jaehwan’s text. he quickly typed out a reply somewhat along the lines of saying that he’s sorry for responding so late and he’s happy to be working with the new artist. he also made sure to ask jaehwan how his day had been so far, to try and start an actual conversation with him. he quickly pressed send, and by that time sanghyuk was already walking towards their lane. wonshik had to run to catch up with him, and the two went to set up their lane the best they could before hongbin arrived. they sat on manilla couches that looked like the kind of booths you would see at a restaurant. a round glass table was sat between them, with menus and a flower in a clear vase resting on top of it. at the end of the table, towards the bowling lane there was a grey metal machine where they could punch in the information needed to set up the lane. two tv screens were above the machine, showing a display screen with directions on how to set up. the two began putting on their bowling shoes that sanghyuk had already got for them, (he somehow remembered everyone’s shoe size) and then started setting their lane up. It wasn’t long after wonshik and hongbin had entered their nicknames into the machine that hongbin walked into the establishment and made his way towards their bowling lane. 

“you guys already set up the lane without me?”

“that’s what happens when you’re late, bean,” sanghyuk snarkily replied

“sorry, usually you’re the late one, so i just felt like i had to take your place,” hongbin retorted. wonshik let out a small laugh. he missed this.

“wonshik! how have you been?” wonshik’s chuckle brought hongbin’s attention towards him. wonshik stood up and walked towards the younger man, stretching his arm out towards him. hongbin did the same, and rested his palm in wonshik’s. they pulled each other towards one another in a hug. 

“i’ve been good, just busy. i’ve missed you, man. how have you been?” wonshik asked the same thing as hongbin, as he pulled back from the hug, looking at hongbin in his brown eyes. hongbin’s gaze shifted to the ground as he thought of an answer to wonshik’s question. his light brown hair fell slightly in front of his eyes, and from his sudden change in stance wonshik figured he hadn’t been so great.

“i’ve been okay, ya know just trying my best to find a new job,”

“oh yeah,” wonshik had forgotten that hongbin quit his old job as an accountant to try and become a twitch streamer. it obviously hasn’t really been working out for him. “why don’t you try acting? you were always great at it in high school.” 

“eh, maybe,” hongbin shrugged his shoulders at wonshik’s suggestion.

“woah. i forgot we’ve known each other since high school. we’re really old now, huh?” sanghyuk said, cutting in to the conversation.

“speak for yourself, sanghyuk. you’re the youngest one here,” 

“how old does that make you guys then?” 

“please don’t remind me of my age,” wonshik was the oldest of the group, so naturally he didn’t want to think about how old he was.

“yeah let’s not talk about that,” hongbin agreed, since he was born in the same year as wonshik.

“then why don’t we order some food!” sanghyuk said, already reaching for the one of the menus resting on the, table in between the booths. the other two men went to pick one up as well. as wonshik read over it, he was surprised to see that it was basically like a restaurant. he could get pizza, burgers, hotdogs, pretty much whatever kind of american food he wanted. it had been a while since wonshik actually went out to eat, and this big of a selection was a nice surprise especially since he hadn’t eaten a lot for lunch. he rarely treated himself to big delicious meals anymore. when the waiter came over to ask them if they were ready to eat, sanghyuk promptly said yes and told her his order first (which, unsurprisingly consisted of only pretzels.) hongbin ordered next, getting two slices of pizza, and then it was wonshik’s turn to tell the waitress that he wanted a cheeseburger with a side of fries. once the waitress had finished jotting down all of their orders, they finally started bowling. they teased one another about their ‘great’ bowling skills, since it was considered an accomplishment when hongbin or sanghyuk didn’t get their ball in the gutter. (wonshik was the only one that actually knew what he was doing). they periodically stopped bowling to eat whatever they had left of the food they ordered and some of the pretzels sanghyuk would not stop drooling over. (the two had to argue with sanghyuk before he reluctantly agreed to share them with his friends). one of the times wonshik decided take a beak to gulp down some food, he checked his phone and saw a notification saying jaehwan had texted him back. a slight smile lit up his face; the movement made him notice the pretzel crumbs on his face, so he wiped them off his upper lip as he read what jaehwan sent him. Jaehwan said that his day was good, he’s just been busy, along with asking wonshik how his day’s going. wonshik typed out a message asking jaehwan what he was busy with and answering the question jaehwan asked. he read over the message and pressed send before continuing to munch on some pretzels. his friends teased him about who he was texting, but wonshik just laughed it off while refusing to tell them who it was. 

all in all, it was a pretty successful outing. wonshik got a much needed break from work, and finally got to hang out with his close friends for the first time in a while. It was refreshing, he felt happy and somewhat motivated. the last time he felt like this was when he worked with jaehwan yesterday, but other than that, he can’t remember anything recent. he had forgotten how much better he felt after spending time with his friends.

after they’ve finished two rounds of bowling, they decided to call it a night, and go to their own homes. wonshik had to drive sanghyuk home since he was pretty wasted, but he didn’t mind. he was just worried about sanghyuk throwing up in the passenger seat.

on the ride home, sanghyuk would not stop blabbering about random things that wonshik didn’t really pay attention to, until he heard sanghyuk say his name.

“wonshikkie~”

“yeah?” he hummed, keeping his eyes focused on the barely lit road.

“did you know that i love you like a lot like wow you’re my best friend, man! my best friend is famous!”

A grin spread across wonshik’s face as he let out a little laugh,”i wouldn’t really call myself famous but thanks, hyogi. i love you too,” he thought that would be the end of sanghyuk’s little appreciation for the producer due to the long stretch of silence that followed his statement, but sanghyuk had other plans.

“man i miss you. you’re like always super busy and it sucks. i wish we could just like go back to high school ya know? where we didn’t really care about anything,” he hiccuped in the middle of his spiel, “i miss you. i miss hongbin. i miss us. it’s lonely without you guys. why do you guys have to be so busy? it’s annoying. like, i know you don’t mean to ignore me or anything but sometimes it’s hard to believe that you guys don’t hate me. i know you don’t though, i just, i don’t know.” sanghyuk’s voice started to waver at the last part of what he was saying, and wonshik could see how much he had been struggling with this, especially since he wasn’t one to typically talk about his feelings. he wondered how long sanghyuk had been dealing with this, and why he didn’t notice it. he hated that it took sanghyuk getting wasted for wonshik to finally find out about it, even with sanghyuk’s reserved nature. 

“i miss you guys too, i wish i had more time for you guys, i’m really sorry sanghyuk.” he hated seeing his friend so distraught over his best friends not paying as much attention to him as they used to. wonshik knew he was distancing himself, but he didn’t really think that it would hurt sanghyuk. he had been so career driven and now that he was losing his motivation nothing seemed to matter, except staying on top of the charts so he could continue to make money. he didn’t want to be a number one hit producer for only a few years and then disappear into thin air. he wanted to make a legacy, but doing that made him push his friends away, and eventually caused this. he felt so bad, guilt resonating at the bottom of his stomach. “i promise we don’t hate you sanghyuk, i promise. i love you so much, and i’ll try to do better with texting you and we’ll hang out more, okay?”

“all together?” sanghyuk asked

“all together. i promise,” wonshik reassured him as he stretched out his pinky towards the boy sitting next to him. sanghyuk reached out his hand and latched his pinky onto wonshik’s. 

“okay,” sanghyuk said, nodding his head. they squeezed each other’s fingers, then let go. sanghyuk rested his head against the window, watching the streetlights pass by saying a few more weird, insignificant things before eventually falling asleep. when wonshik stopped at a particularly long red light he took out his phone and snapped a picture of the boy sleeping. he’d make sure to tease him about the drool dripping from his half opened mouth later. on the rest of the ride to sanghyuk’s house, the boy’s rant lingered in wonshik’s mind. the dreadful feeling in his stomach only deepened the more he thought about it. after about 20 more minutes of serene driving, they arrived at sanghyuk’s apartment complex. wonshik lightly tapped sanghyuk’s shoulder to try and wake him up, but when that didn’t work he tried to lightly shake him instead. sanghyuk just groaned as a response. 

“hyogi, you gotta wake up. we’re at your place,” wonshik whispered. sanghyuk was too tired to give wonshik an actual response and just shook his head, before finally opening the car door.

“do you want me to walk you to your door?” wonshik asked after seeing sanghyuk unsteadily get out of the car.

“no, i’m okay,” sanghyuk quietly replied, but wonshik could tell that he wasn’t. he decided to help walk his best friend up the stairs, and unlock his door. wonshik laid the youngest on his bed, making sure to leave some ibuprofen and a note on his nightstand for when sanghyuk wakes up.

wonshik walked back down the stairs, got in his car, and drove off in the direction of his home. him and sanghyuk live relatively close together, so it only took wonshik about 15 minutes to get there. as soon as he got home he went upstairs to grab his laptop and start working on a new song to try to help process what he was feeling after listening to what sanghyuk said. he only worked on it for about an hour before figuring he should probably just sleep instead. he closed his grey macbook, got up from the desk in his room, and plopped into his bed. as soon as his head hit the pillow he closed his eyes and started coming up with some kind of unrealistic story to help him fall asleep. after about 10 minutes of daydreaming about winning some kind of amazing award, he fell asleep, forgetting about his troubles from today.


End file.
